Alicia Kennedy, Food & Drink Writer

old blog

basic bitch banana muffins

For the most part, no one wants to eat anything all that interesting on a regular basis. I live and die by the fork, but I have the same peanut butter and banana oatmeal for breakfast every morning—plus a large mug of Stumptown Hair Bender!—because it grounds my days. When I ran the bakery, everyone wanted chocolate-chip cookies, peanut-butter frosting, and banana muffins. Every single one of us, the basic bitch inside.

But banana muffins are a delicious staple, and you can spruce them up easily—obviously there is the classic addition of walnuts, or you could drizzle some icing or chocolate, or make a nice crumb topping. Oh, maybe even use virgin coconut oil and fold some flakes into the batter.

Here's the Basic Bitch Banana Muffin that you can build upon. This recipe yields 12 fluffy little cakes.

230 g flour 
113 g sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
170 g unsweetened, unflavored almond milk
2 tablespoons of flaxseed meal mixed with 6 tablespoons of water
87 grams of coconut oil, melted
2 brown bananas, mashed

1. Heat the oven to 350 degrees and put your cupcake liners in the pan.

2. Melt coconut oil over a double boiler or in the microwave. Set aside.

3. Mix the flaxseed meal and water to create your flax eggs. Set aside.

4. Combine all dry ingredients, minus sugar, in a bowl by whisking well.

5. Mash your bananas in a bowl, measure the sugar into it, then milk, then add your melted oil and flax eggs. Whisk well.

6. Pour your wet ingredients into the dry and whisk until just combined. Let it rest for a few minutes. Do a jig or some push-ups or something.

7. Add 1/3 of a cup of batter to each liner, then pop 'em in the oven. Rotate after 15 minutes, and then check after another 10. A toothpick should come out clean—do I have to tell you that? Is this your first kitchen rodeo? If it is, welcome!

8. Let 'em cool down and then drizzle or leave 'em nude.